I Have a Love/Hate Relationship With Writing

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GAAHH, UHHH, UGGHH, all the emotions I feel when writing anything.

I feel like writing is such a paradox for me. There are times where I find it difficult to write things and I immediately label myself as a failure or failed writer. I tell myself that I’ll never be as good as the editors who write some of my favorite pieces and that I’ll never be as smart or as great of a writer as them.

But then there are days where I write a piece that feels easy, fun and liberating and I remind myself that writing is a craft that requires practice, patience, struggle, and discovery. It is not always going to be easy. The writers I admire didn’t become amazing overnight. They worked hard at it.

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It’s taken me a while to find my voice and there are moments when I lose it and fight really hard to get it back. There are times where I’ll read an awesome piece, I’ll get inspired and I immediately feel the impulse to write. I write on impulse. As many times as I beat myself up about thinking I’m a shitty writer; reading someone else’s piece or an old one of mine only pushes me to work harder at it. 

I believe it’s important to recognize one’s small accomplishments, so I thought I’d share a few pieces I’ve written (in no particular order) that I’m pretty damn proud are out there. I DID THAT.

1—Teen Vogue: What I Wish I Had Known BEFORE My Summer Internship

2—Man Repeller: Tinder is Trash

3— Huffington Post: These Two Teens Are Donating Sports Gear to Kids in Need, and You Can Too

4—5 Insider Tips On How To Slay The Thrifting Game

5—The Important Thing To Know About Your Tag Size

6—8 Things To Consider Before Moving To New York City

7—Here’s Everything You Need To Know Before You Go Thrifting

8—How To Thrift Trendy Items With Just a $20 Budget

9—These 3 Fashion Bloggers Have Something In Common With You

10—7 Female College Students Talk About The Women That Inspire Them and The Importance of Girl Power

Photos taken by Venesa

Lately, I’ve Been Feeling Uninspired

I’ve been feeling very uninspired since I came back from New York. My lack of motivation and optimism worsens and just recently I started hating everything I wear. Which is a problem because my clothes are usually an energy booster and a way to be accepting of myself. I’m not sure why this slump is such a HUGE slump. Maybe it’s that time of the year where I once again feel an existential crisis coming on, and I have no clue of what I’m doing and how to get to where I want to be.

I know I have the tendency to be hard on myself and I’m always afraid that I’m running out of time to do the things I want to achieve one day. I mostly blame this on myself because I’m constantly comparing myself to others who already seem to have their lives together and have the dream jobs I wish I had.

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Another thing I’ve been trying to come to terms with lately is to remind myself that social media is just a highlight of people’s lives. I wish people were more open about their day-to-day struggles and would share authentic stories I could relate to and wouldn’t make me feel so out of place.

I started to hate Instagram a lot because it mentally exhausts me and I’ve gotten tired of people constantly trying to sell me something and begging for a follow. I’m more interested in getting to know people’s personalities and what show they like to binge watch at 10 pm.

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I love photos and the stories behind them, it was one of the main reasons I joined Instagram. But now I’m just kind of over it. I don’t want to be obsessed with curating my feed or wondering if someone will like my photo. I want to post because I enjoy being creative and because I genuinely like the photos I post.

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At the end of the day, everything is a work in progress and I always hope that the next morning is always better than the one before.

Photos were taken by: William-Douglas

*These photos were taken by Will, who I interned with at DoSomething.org this past summer! He is such a passionate and creative guy who really loves his craft. If you’re in New York and are looking for someone to take awesome photos make sure to reach out to him! 

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How Deciding What To Wear Helps Ease My Nerves

I’m a strong believer that what you wear is an extension of who you are 🌟 It’s important for me to always wear and buy things that make me feel comfortable with myself, and that’ll give me the confidence to go out into the world 🌍.  If I can’t identify with what I’m wearing, then the only person I’m fooling is myself.

I’ve never been the most confident person in the room, and I swear almost everything that’s out of my comfort zone makes me nervous and anxious, and it is LITERALLY THE WORST. But I am working on not being so scared and nervous about everything, and learning how to give myself pep talks and positive affirmations to help ease myself into any untouched territory 👀.

A way that helps me combat my fears is deciding what to wear👖. It helps me figure out my current state of mind and mood, and it’s a great stress reliever when I get a few minutes of the day to be creative and pick out my outfits. A huge component in my closet is definitely COLOR 🌈. I LOVE color so much, and odds are you’ll hardly ever find me wearing black. Not because I’m against it—black is a badass color 😎— but because  I usually don’t gravitate towards it as much. There’s something so fun and bold about wearing color, and deciding what to wear shouldn’t be boring or a hassle. It should be an opportunity to learn about yourself and be happy with who you are. Something I try every day to be happy with 🌷.

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Photos taken by: Cassidy Hopkins

Cassidy is such a sweet girl! Shooting with her was a great experience, and I definitely recommend reaching out to her if you’re in need of photos. Make sure to follow her on Instagram in the link above! 

 

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